I was being LIED..took for GRANTED..and treated like a FOOL !!!!!

Once upon a time,there wasd once where all feelings lived :

happiness,sorrow,knowledge etc,including love.One day it was announced to all the feelings that the island would sink.

So all repaired their own boats and left.Love was the only one who stayed.Love wants to presevere untill the last moment possible.When the island is almost sinking,Love decices to asked for help.

richness was passing by in a great boat.Love said"Richness,an you take me with you?" Richness answered "no,i can't.there are alot of gold and silver here in my boat,there is no place for you"

Love decides to ask vanity who was passing by in a beautiful vessel, "Vanity,please help me!" "I can't help you love.you are all wet and might damage my boat!" Vanity answered.

Sorrow was closed by so asked for help,"Sorrow,please let me go with you" but Sorrow answered, "Oh...Love,i am so sad that i need to be myself!" Happiness passed by Love too,but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her!!!

Suddenly,there was a voice, "come Love,i will take you" It was an elder.Love feel so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgets to ask the elder her name.

When they arrive at dry land,Love asked another elder,knowledge.."who helped me?"

"It was time"knowledge answered.

"Time?' asked Love."but why did time help me?" Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "because time is capable of understanding how great love is"

Love is a wonderful feeling and most of us are either in love or secretly admire somebody.but there is one thing about love.It needs time to grow,to mature and to last forever.time teaches many things and heals many scars..

hrm..find it meaningful??i do..and i hope my dear friend mandy thinks so too =)) and hopefully can help her..

eye sore.was in front of the computer for a long time.the weather is lovely for stayin at home.lol~

hrm,a meaningful song is uploaded!!!finally..i get the Right codes for the song..all thanks to kyrie lemme use his program=D and vonnie too..teachin me sum stuff..kekesss..neways von,i still wan the program aitess?

learn to do the moving pics too!!!=D *super happy* wanna learn that for quite awhile,and nw i suceed!!!so so happy..weets..bt den..this i've learned myself,not any help frm kyrie or vonnie..applaud for me yeah..hahass!!

but anywaes,those pics are just for "testing"..it's gonna be there for awhile tho,untill i've sort out evrything and i'lll change all the pics =))

so so tired today=s well,everyday i also will be overtired anyways,wonder if i dun eat enough food for energy,bt den,it seems i eat more and more also?lol~

sch is aiight as usual,today me and julre vry obedient pretend pretend copy notes on the ohp,lol~ ans witness another fight at sch agn,it's already the second fight in thre last 6months..haiss..malay sch,wat cn you do?at least it's nt girls catfight like last tym..hahasss..

todae...HAPPY 13MONTHS ANNIVERSARY TO ME AND DEAR...hehess..another month passed agn,bt i sure wonder how long it gonna last..won't forever this is for sure=s

hrm,suddenly rmb something last nyt,after havin my dinner,spend the whole 3hours chattin with ah fung(my cuz)..we're talkin alot about alot of stuff,and suddenly talked abt how he could'nt recognise me last yr in the shoppin mall..he ask me show some of my pics,show lorh,and i send him one pic,and he was dumbfound!he had no idea btw me and amy,which is me!!!!this kinda family also got hor..sia soi one..hahass..so newayss,he ALMOST got to the point of askin his mommy which is me,till he recognise for himself..den i tell him..

me : fung arh,u take de pic to ee gv her see now..see what she said..
fung : ok..u wait ahh..i call mommy..

awhile later........

fung : WAHHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fung : xin,mommy had no idea who are you!!!!!she asked why i had pretty girls in my pc!!WAHHAHAAA...
me : u go tell ee i'm ur gal gal..see what she say?

awhile later......

fung : xinn...sei 4 lor,mommy keep askin me abt you..i asked her see clearly the pic agn..she keep askin!!my tears really wanna fall frm laughin liao..too bad ah wei nt at home,see mommy's expression!!!
me : wua lan,ee gt so dumbfound o nt orh..*and cnt help laffin hard myself*
fung : u say leh?mommy's face practically blank liao!!!

wua lann..then i go tel my mommy the story maa..in the end,my aunt and mommy CHAT instead of me and fung..-_-" hahass,hrm,that reminds me,hui yi gonna be here for the dec hols,ah wei mayb gonna be here too!!if he's nt goin travellin with his friends,we're discussin a nite in empire *winksss*

just went for dinner at ayamku restaurent with my family just now..sea cucumber claypot is definitely superb!!!dunno when cn i have it agn..=s

hrm..guess 1mr me just gonna slack at home,since dear aint well so he wont come out see me..hrm..missin him ord..kekesss

im tired and definitely sleepy=s sch went on as usual ..guess wut?me and julre got scolded for talkin agn..miss suzy was lyk "ok grace and julre..apparently what you're talkin there is more interesting than what i'm teachin..since what you two wre talkin are more appealin than listenin to my class..would you like to share it with us?we're waitin.." oh shiat..we just kept quiet..bt felt like tellin her..if she really wanna noe what the hell is so interestin..bet when she heard it..she wont think that way!and den ..after awhile..we talked awhile ONI nia,she insulted us "grace and julre,a PRE-U2 student wanna join our PRE-U1 class and jottin down the notes on the ohp,and two of you are acting like you dun hv the care at allin the world.." wua lan..so embrassing man!!sheesshh..

went out with dearr after sch,went to marilyn to have lasagnass,have been cravin for lasagnas quite a while nw,and finally i cn have it..lol~and went back to office and hang out*winks*

newayss..gonna dinner..tata!

went out find mandy at3pm in the end.i just don't feel like being alone,and think of the things which cause me pain..but i never knew,mandy is havin a even harder time than me..she practically looks like she's about to cry from the moment i saw her and the moment i go home=((

went to cosy corner,where it's quiet,air-conditioned,and hav alot of privacy.spilled out her sob story,i really felt so sad for her.i'm having alot of problems myself,but my problems could'nt relate to what someone did to her.comfort her..givin her advices and consolin her as much as i can.

after one hour plus of talkin,and eatin TWO plates of french fries=s we dedice to leave.shopped ard..actually..it's more like i'm walkin ard lookin at things while she's followin me only=s saw some nice clothes and nice stuff toys norhxx=))

she decided to pop into her workin place early..and sat ther for hours and help her work when she's busy...Wees..den ard evenin went home with dad nia...

i'm feelin more better today,at least my mind is off about smth else!but for my dear friend..i'm not so sure..i just hope she could have a good nyt sleep tonyt and quit blamin herself for everything.

cried a damm lot last nyt,my tears could probaly filled up a pool=s another huge quarrel with dear,almost break up agn,bt luckily we went thru it..bt what happened last nyt,what he had said to me..cause a permanent scar in my heart.end of story.

like that is'nt enough,quarreled with my mom the same tym too!was shoutin at each other so loud,till dad woke up from his nap and in the end,i got the blame!why do i always have to be blamed for everythin i've not done wrong?!?!WHY..

did'nt go to sch today,was too tired from lastnyt,stayed at home and be a pig.mom was even more pissed,but then..who cares anymore?actually wanna go find mandy in the noon..at 12 liddat,bt i slept till 1pm,miss my transport liao..so in d end no go..i could use bus if i wan..but the weather looks rainy..

now it's just 1pm..haiss..dunno how to spend my day today =X

Jiu suan wo shi duo me de ai ni,

wei ni er fu chu zai duo zai duo,

ke shi,wo xin li hen ming bai..

ni yi yang bu huei jia bei ni dui wo de ai,

wo dui ni lai suo..

ye zhi bu guo ru chi er yi..

really felt disspointed..after all this days of quarrels with dear,i thought he would miss me and would wanna see me.but i'm wrong.due to some reasons our date together had been cancelled..i always thought i'm only thinkin too mch..abt how little importance i am to him..for he always have reasons for me to come second or last..but today the deep truth bore right into my heart.end of story.

a few days ago..when a friend come over..suddenly the topic changed to boys.my boy..to be preise..she was askin me.."grace ah,the "yang yang" and "raven" friendster acc is your boy's right? i just answered "yeaps" den agn she ask " you two not together meh?why is his friendster status is SINGLE?" i was shocked,dun wanna show the hurt which starts to appear..i just answered "status onimarh,nth one la" agn she continued "but you two have been together over a year nw,dun you think he should be honest about you two relation?" this time..i'm really..speechless!!! i just kept quiet and let my heart to rain..den i think to myself.. why... yea...WHY a gd question!

hrm,it seems i'm startin to blog in here less and less..there aint nth mch to blog neways..other den at sch at home..that's my life liao=s so lame hor..no more social life..geess-_-" it's ok larh,at least got to rest at home..kekesss..

As yOu cn see..i've changed my blogskin!!nice tak?lawa tak?KYRIEEE...LAWA KAN?!?!?!at least 1000times more than yOurs,hmpf!took the whole darn day to set this up "nicely" sumhow,the codes always seems to get wrong and i had to re-do it many times=(( n yet ..STILL..have'nt finished up decoratin *eye sore*

wuaa..kyrie let me see an article this mornin..guess wut?the sultan remarried arh!!!it's a closed ceremony..private wife?lol~ when i read the article..i was so..*shocked* ? hw old already orh...wua lan ehz..as he likes la..he got "richness" ..sure any young ladies wanna go with him nia..hahass..

so so tired todae..woke up early and go to church with my mom..the service is aiight..miss my childhood friends..suk hong and elvis so mch!!had forgotten how we used to play when we're young and did'nt see them for like..one yr pluss??did alot of catchin up =))

vry annoying arh,1st jackass(not enclosin any names in here cuz he's sch ppl) was lyk..tryin to hit on me..sayin bunch of annoying things..

Him:why you on9 dun chat with me?
Me:oppss..busy with stuff din c u on9 ma..(purposely one)
Him:miss me?
Me:no orh..what for?
Him:i miss you mah..open ur webcam give me see!!i'm beggin u..lemme c ur pretty face..
Me:wua..NO!i told you i dun open my webcam 4 anyone,nt even my own boy..u count as what ler?besides..me gotta go soon lorh,wanna go bandar with my friends ....(must tipu tipu ma...so to get him off)
Him:issit..den u must look vry pretty nw..let me c awhile..pls pls pls..
(i was lyk..wtf..!?!?!stil cnt get d hint issit?sial)
Me:no..i have'nt got ready yet..
Him:arghhh!!!!!!i cnot wait for my silvia!!so i cn bring u ard!!
Him:pls agn pls..just lemma c u 4 awhile...jus 5 minutes u do...
(askin agn...for lyk..the zillionth tym!)
Me:i say lor..NO !!who are you to me..?
Him:I'm You slave..and besides..i help you alot..
(nth else just ask him dl music -_-" made it lyk ..BIG HELP liddat..sial)
Me:just cuz u help me alot dun mean i had to sell myself for u...
(changin the topic....)
Me:hrm...i wonder what i wanna buy ltr in bandar..
Him:u got money meh? (sial..look down on me harr?)
Me:got..dad gv me $100..bah ..i wana go nw..bye
(STILL dun wana give up...)
Him:when u home..sure u still vry pretty..wen reach home show me webcam k!!!
Me:hrm..c 1st lor..i go home very late..lyk..later den midnyt..i say ord..i dun open my webcam for anyone..
Him:nvm maa..just you and me lor..!!i will just be ur scandal..
Me:bye..

Geezz..what the hells he want ohh.."i be ur scandal" this part..he want also no one wants la!!!sialness to the max!

den the 2nd jackass.. another one..

Him:Hi..
Me:Hii..
Him:remember me??
Me:no..(i do..guys hv smth call EGOS so let it hurt=P)
Him:liddat 1 la..dun remember me..
Me:sorry..who youu..?
Him:edward bahh...lastym i tuiton with u 1 le..
Me:oh ya..remember liao..hw r u..
Him:me gd..y no go out?
Me:lazy la
Him:girls alweays liddat 1 ..continiun...
Hi:stayin at home too much not good for you ..you know?

whta's wrong with guys nowadays huhh?why are the so thick faced..frm the start already hint for you to bug off..yet u said all this nuisance to piss me off..everyone seems to piss me off today..

sheeshh..

This story is based on true feelings not true technology..


I couldn’t remember where I am at that moment. I woke up to see the rain pouring down the sky and I stood by the window watching the rain.. it falls so slowly down the glass … I touched it.. it was cold so damn cold.. just like my heart.. then something copied the rain and fell. .. when I wiped my face there were my tears.. why do I feel so empty inside? The guy I love.. oh yeah him… I picked up our picture together and there we were by the waterfall, smiling and hugging each other .. . those wonderful memories.. he’s been really busy I told myself.. but who am I lying? I told myself that night after night and I got used to the excuses..I know it’s been only a few days we didn’t see each other but can’t he at least give a short call?

I can’t say I’m not disappointed for what has happen but who am I to control his life? I’m just another lady in his life. .well I thought I was an important one until lately.. I slowly wiped away my tears .. hey I’m at least happy to have him in my life right? Well yeah I do love him so much.. I smiled a little .. why don’t I call him first? But I don’t wanna look so clingy.. I bit my nails.. I usually do that when I get lonely .. well now it’s a great time to do that.

Sigh. .what am I to ? just a few days ago, he came to me and held me in his arms and he kissed me right on the lips .. he kept telling me how happy he is and how much he loves me.. all of my doubts and fears flew out of the window … I feel so blessed.. I feel loved.. but when he went off, my heart went with him and then images of him cheating on me flashes thru.. maybe that’s why he was so busy.. no, I trust my man.. more than I trust anyone else .. I love him more than anyone else

So here I wait till he comes back to me so I can smile and talk to him once again .. when I can whisper in his ear telling him how much I miss him, telling him how much he meant to me, how different he is from my ex boyfriend, how much I love him but I simply couldn’t bear the thought of telling him that I feel neglected… and abandoned.. and used.. but I guess I couldn’t hate him or love him because I love him. Here I lie waiting and craving for the day he’ll come back to me and not knowing of the tears I have cried since he been busy for the past days.. when he would hold me in his arms again.. then I’ll have my moment of happiness till he goes away and my petals will drop like the flowers and I’ll be dead till the day he finds time for me again.. cause I love him.. he makes me happy even for just a while ..

touchin ryt..?sum of it really reflects my real life..well SOME oni..dunm go guessin ard..lol

I nOw nO LoNgeR FeeL ThE HurT And PaIn,

INSTEAD.......

Angerness fills me up instead!

FcUked Up # -is to describe me recently.why do i have to cope with the difficulties of life?i've been coping with it since the past years,but why does'nt it make me stronger?why does each times i still could'nt stop crying everyday?i wished with all my might..that i can rewind to the past 4 years..the everyday cheerry mood,the never frowning happy face,the im-totally-contented-and-happy with my life attitude,the worryfree me..bUt since the last two yeaRs,i've encountered countless breakdowns..WorSt,this year,the breakdowns n tears never seems to end.If tears could be stored,then my house could have an in build small swimmin pool liao =s

Wary # best word described todae,wan enjoyin my sleep so mch,but today hv to start goin to sch=s was schocked hw many peOple ask me abt my sickness,even vicky also know..wua lan,gossips sure travel fast,a solid proof! bt sch was okay anywaes..geog teacher treat the whole class pizza huts *thumbs up*

homed!!!=)) lyk..finally!!the comfort in my home and bedroom sure win the hospital bed 100times..kekess. Was sent to emergency ward nia ytd evening,had ventilasation and a ecg scan,found out that smth is wrong,unusual to be exact..at my heart..and was hospitalised immediately=((

the foods there sure sucks!!!cud'nt even eat the breakfast,dad bought me breakfast nia,so happy cn eat mee stall mee=P thO hospitalised for two days,got more than 3 ecg scans and five injections,haiss..cn imagine the blood i lost lorhs!!nt only that,before i'm discharged,had to pulled out a 2inch long needle injection frm my hand which cause alot of blood flow..my hand was covered in blood nia!!!=s so yucky..

hehess..dear gt cum pei me in d afternoon..bought me soy milk oso *weets* pk also got come lorh,at least gt ppl company me,if nt..sure will bored till pengsan de lorh!!kekess!!

anywaes,till here for nw lor,vry sleepy..still!!!!wanna rest abit..gdnyt..mauckies

SiCk heavily nia..

Felt so haRd to breathe..=((

=taken on the 2nd floor=

=taken just outside the canteen

here am i officially baQ to blogged=)) haven't been bloggin for quite awhile nia,all thanks to my dad=s day is aiight=P sch went on as usual lor..of course..

i got 4marks for my biz test ah!!xiao that kyrie gt 14 and julre gt 11!!!!it's so so so so unfair,when me and julre promised each other nt to study!!!nvm larh,i'm gonna beat their ass at d end yr xM..look out kyrieee!!!!!!!!!=)) dun 4get..i owe me a meal..kekesss!!! =))

saw kok how!!!he's baQ frm Sig marh,and he come to our sch with natul n suk tzen..he dun change abit anywaes,de same old him=s bt we all ex-sms hv fun and snap sum pics..will post it up when i gt those pics..wee!

got a suprised msG frm my dear mandy today!!!a big CONGRATS to mandy arh,for finally landing a job *wink* do properly la kayss?dun steal snake too mch nia..kekess..msged with her a few,i miss her so darn mch!!! it's been more than 2 weeks i hvn't did any catchin up with her..hope to meet up with her soon!!

after sch,took a bath,dried my hair,and went out to meet dearr,felt esp happy when meetin him 2dae..tho only for few hrs,v had quite a row last nyt nia=(( no worries..all gd..spend our sweet tym at da roof,n evening went to tamu 2gtr and bought bbQ chi pi ku and drink coconut waters before goin home..bt the cempedak dearr bought so smelly 1..yuckkk..dunno wat's so nice abt it=s

i guess nth mch happened da past week,hrm..guess wut!?!!i finally gt chance to taste mum's bakery bread last wed ahh!!!=(( hw many time i go also nth lef in da shop..business toO gd liao..last wed,few days ago went with dearr..bought chillihotdogs,butter breads,hotdogs with the urm..chicken tingie u spread on top?wadeva u called it la..blueberry cheese cake and chocolate fudge cake..cost $10+++ nia!!so exp..wonder dear heart gt rain o nt..=P LOL !!

k lahhsss,till here for nw..eyes cnt open liao lorh..so sleepy=s nytnYts,mauckies (",)

I'm In rage..I'm in So mUch Rage..

My heArt Felt LiKe It's On fiRe..

bUt yEt It's RaininG insiDe..

Do yOu KnoW What I'm TrYIn To Say?

PlEasee..PleaSe..

TeaCh mE wHat i Cn dO..

Teach Me How To dO.

I LoVe You so mUch..Yet toO Much..

AnD there's NoOne BuT yOu..

Who Can makE me Better..

Dee Aa Eer Is Shoo Shoo SO stupiak >.<

Haass,skipped sch 2dae,well..did attend one class only nia..n skipped the rest=P get to rest at home,a sorta happy convo with dearr on the phone..it's all gd=))

anywaesss,here are some pics taken recently.. took a few hours tryin to get the codings ryt for a nice fade-in slideshow effect,bt dunno why,it failed=(( so guess nw hv to repost this one by one..boo..=((

AuG 1 - taken at yun's hse at night=))











Actually..there's still alot more=s just havent get it..waitinfor her bro to send to me..weeheess.. heess..nice marhh? that's it..lazy to post so mch liao..kekess..

was so sleepy nw..tho it's oni 9++ pm!!=s yun's visit in brunei really wore me out.but it's nice=)) get to hang out with her,and at the same tym,take my mind of my problems..hehess

sch was aiight,went home early at 11 20am and took a quick shower,bt when i come out of my shower,yun's ord in my room diggin.lol~ talk awhile,play awhile,watched movie together awhile,snap some pics and went out for lunch.

went to pagolak and have our lunches there,2meats and 1soup,so so so nice!!=)) and i've kinda eat alot when she's back too!bet i'm abit more meaty now..teeheess.

after our lunch,we decided to go to the new bread store,it's been the second tym i've been there..bt two times two times all breads finished!!!!=s all we get to see is empty trayss!!

went to the saloon and have our hair trimed..mine's cut so short norh,at least two inches also gone liao=s and then decided to plucked our eyebrows together too!!hahasss..

meet up van van,and headed to marilyn and get ice creams sundaes,seriously...it's not nice at all=s all melting..but we finished it anywaes and then start having stomachache..boo hoo!!!

went home,rest..and have dinner with the whole family,with yun of course..mom even cook lamb chop especially for her..ahahasss.special treatment larhh=P

newayss..gotta drop off to sleep now..if not..tomorrow lyk zombie nia..wil post those pics up vry soon..when i got tym!!!!!! nytttsss..

Day was nt-so-nice.school was really sleepy nia=s spent 2mornin classes dozing off in front of the teacher,skipped another two classes resting and gossipin ard with friends in the library and just payin attention to biz class..=P i'm supposed to be studyin biz nw..but simply too lazy ..haiss..think so later just gonna look thru lorh..at least had 30% is better then nothing..

reach home bath..dunno i took so long in the shower=s cuz the minute i'm out,pk n dearr is already outside my hse waitin for me..hahasss..flew ard the hse to wear my clothes and dry my hair nia,bt the tym i'm in de car..im HOT agn due to the rushin=s

picked up yunYun,n headed to ogDc and had our brunch there=)) hehess,and dearr kiap into a seat with me..Lol..~kinda funny th0 abt that part.. bt we dun stay for long..too bad.. =((

when reachin home..watched some tv..daddy reached home and went into my room and said to me " xin xin,i got buy yoghurts for you arh,it's in the fridge..it's blueberry de,ur favourite" Wuaa.. i hear him say also so gan dung arh..hehehesss..just because lasnyt i told him i like to eat yoghurt,and he bought it for me today!!!=))

gonna watched some more tv now..maukies..

Yoo!!!i'm at yun's hse ryt nw..bloggin this post!!=)) anywaes..day was gd..n SLEEPY!!!!din sleep at all norhs last nyt..wosh yakkin away on da phone wif yun for abt 2hours..and then continue another 2 hours with mandy!!!=s it's nice tho..cn tok to both of my best friends at one day=)) oni get to sleep abt 4 30am..woke up bleary and no appetite at all=s

went to sch as usual..1st period was PS..n sumhow me n chee wan wound up talkin da whole tym..hahasss..kinda fun talkin to her..so many stuffs to kepoh kepoh..dunno that v hav so mch to talk abt..its really nice talkin to an old fren..since kindergarden..tee hee..a vry gd convo too..glad to hav been able to spend some tym with her..

Da only thing is that..when we are talkin happily..the secondary student's eng tcher..came over to us and complained we're talkin too loud in the library=s boo hoo..we gotta change to another table to talk..so paiseh..LOL~

school went thru vry smoothly..n jason send me home at 12 30pm..tee heess!cuz lazy to wait for mommy nia..hv to wait till 1pm..so jason brought me and ivan home..since we all dun hv our geo clas 2dae..

one funny tingie when we're in da car..stuck in da traffic jam..me and ivan took jason's mentos to eat..the mentos packagin is diff marh..n ivan say smth like " urm..can i swallow this?" which makes me and jason rofl.. hahasss..!

went home took a bath,rest awhile..and went out meet dearr for awhile..spend sum tym in d office..n went down to seria to meet up with yun..*weets* haven't seen her for so long..feel she vry mch prettier liao ..HAHAHSS~!!!bt everyone says she fat liao lorhss..ahhas..which i dun tink so..went to incomn fetch shwu wen,and then head to jolibee and hv our late snack der= ))

de whole tym we're eating?the whole jolibee's full of our laughther and conversatiosns..Lol~ soon,we sent shwu wen back to work and dearr to his popo hse..and went shoppin awhile more..lookin at stuff toyss *wees* and went to guardian and look for some stuff too.!!hehehsss..

had dinner at yun's hse with her family norh..guess wut?her mommy cook chili crab for us!!!it's lyk..so darn nice man!!so so so nice!!tee hee!almost wanna demolish the whole plate off my mouth..lols..

took sum pics wif yun too ..kekess.. will post in here soon when i got those pics..tee hee.. kinda dreadin to go home..my socio essay to be passed up tomorrow and biz xm on wed..haiss..

guess that's it for tonight..2mr sure gonna be another happy day ..*wees * maukiess...